Its amazing how a weekend with friends can quite the storm in your head. This weekend I MANY epiphanies. It was like a cosmic astro shower. I guess the first one is that given opportunities take them. A friend asked if I wanted to go to Vail, CO in March 2013, and I said YES. Its going to be a great adventure, I'm getting a plane ticket, taking my snowboard, and using our connections for a place to crash. What freedom I felt instantly after saying yes. Also I just met a guy who is a total ski bum and will be working there. When I first met him I was think I should just not talk to him there after, but here I am going to the mountain he'll be working at...........good thing we talk from time to time.
I was also worried and mauling over in my head that I'm advancing in age and I have yet to have serious boyfriend in ages and I need to be married by 30. Well all this is what I want, this weekend I calmed down a bit by it. I really need to find someone who will foster my passionate side, my wondering side, my reserved side, nerdy side, intense/competitive side.......etc. So from that moment of relaxing, I realized I need to stop farting around with prospects that are lame, irritating, waste of time or not my type. And really start living like I want to bump into that person. Which leads me to my neck slap in the head.......
..........This weekend an ex boyfriend commences to debate with my why I should keep talk to him. Time out on the clock that's the most ass backward thing I've ever experienced. I even tried to play up the "crazy" and he argued all the more. Most bizarre behavior. This one is still an open book, like the one you read a chapter in and get bored or preoccupied. But really I shook my head at myself, I should be talking and engaging with men that are available, and won't put me on hold. If I find a cool guy, tough noogies for this ex.......he'll have to deal with his lack of action.
Being around a camp fire can really make you think too much, clearly by all I said. But also being around your friends can help remind you of who you are, or highlight a layer of who you are. I was reminded that I'm a flaky, eccentric, artsy weirdo. But how does one merge that with the other sides? I haven't a clue yet. For example I asked "should I get a tattoo" and they of course said yes. So may this November I'll ink my body something deep from within..........
Merging
Snowboarding Betty; Utah visit; Colorado visit; Sugarbush visit; Dirty South visit; starting fitness competitions; painting my old snowboard; trying out for plays; learning the bagpipes; taking a college courses; write a book; volunteer at the VA clinic; NYC visits
live in the present. be optimistic. adventure. give.
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